Wayyo! na Umar Saleh Gwani

Idan kana bukatar sanin “ni ‘yasu” to biyo ni a natse ko za ka fahimci halin tsaka-mai wuya da dan Arewa Bahaushen bariki ke ciki. A kullum rana ta Allah a wayi gari ka tashi da safe gidan haya, matanka hudu, ‘ya’yanka tara, kai cikon su na goma sha hudu, babu mai sana’a guda daya. Dakunanku biyar, na fuskantar juna, bahayarku daya ga makwabta da abokan zama; kabilu duk daga ko ta ina ka duba. Sa’a dai daya dai ka ce kana da sana’a, wadda ita ke ci da bayin Allah da ke tsugune bakin murhu suna sauraron isowarka da abin da za a saka baka domin bakin da Wahabu ya tsaga… ‘Sana’a goma maganin bacin rana,’ kullum kake fadi, amma babu wadda ka kware bisa turbar cigaba da kuma inganta rayuwa, balle kuma daidaita sahun al’umma bisa tafarkin cin gaskin kai. Gadi kai ne, samar da maganin gargajiya duk naka ne! Ina labarin jinnu da iskoki kuma? Ai su ma duk ilmin a nan yake, bare kuma su farfadiya zuwa jifa, sammu da bakin tsimi? Ina su dakan-maza; kayan aikin jarumai da dangin su su gadali da zakami? Tafi gindin gadar garejin tifa na mararraba, malam na can ya sanya farar tufa, ga rawani kuma jakarsa ta magori, ga amsa-kuwa bisa amalankensa gaba daya.

Zango-zango na garin duka, kaf ya cika su da talla. akwai maganin kishiya, akwai na shikar aure; da dama kuma maganin nan kyauta yake. Bayan ya kare batutuwan, ya yi bayani har muryasa ta dishe, akwai lamari da sauran abubuwa, wanda zamani ya saka mana, dama malam ya tafi Saminaka, da a can ya gano sirrin tushen arzikin, amma yanzu dai fama ake ta kwamawa, zamba cikin aminci har zuwa nau’i-nau’i na damfara; wa zai yi zaton malam a gidan dara?

Wayyo! Allah ya isa, baba je ka gida ka yi ta addu’a; zaman alkarya ba naka ba ne, bar yara su nema halaliya domin wannan ba alkhairi ba ne. Magani kuwa duk mai bidar sa yana cimma maka duk inda kake. Kada dai ka yi lalacewar zabuwa.


Oh Gosh!

To know what an “Oh my gosh! moment is, come forth patiently, you may understand the dire straights faced by the modern day urban Hausa man. Imagine waking up in the early hours of dawn, to a family of four wives and eleven children all squeezed into five, “Face-Me-I-face-you” rented rooms, in the midst of different cultures and tongues. Luck has it that you have several vocations but had mastered none; your dependents rely on your meagre earnings as a part-time night watchman, pseudo-herbalist, exorcist’s assistant, and probably an aphrodisiac vendor. Tipper Garage flyover at Mararraba is your registered domicile, dressed in white gowns and turban with your ubiquitous medicine bag hanging conspicuously on your shoulders; while shouting into a loudspeaker cradled in from of your medicine cart, you spoke about remedies of divorce and polygamous mates. Every terminus and stop on your way to Abuja are not spared your loud marketing, after all most the remedies you give are free for clients to establish trust in your trade.

After enumerating all potential issues facing us, there are more problems in our society than meets the eye. If you have visited Saminaka, you may discover secrets of wealth in farms, a better way than the struggle and strive of our urban displaced population, from vices like breach of trust, to their closely related cousins of petty crime, who would’ve thought you in such checkered life?

Oh My Gosh! The Lord is sufficient, please go home and meditate about this, urban life is not yours, let the youths strive legitimately, for it suits them best. Should your remedies be sought, they’ll find you wherever you are, let your case not be like that of a domesticated guinea-fowl.

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