WHEN GOD BECOMES A SHADOW
When God turns into an idea that lives only in our heads
And this clear picture we have always had of Him becomes blurry.
No one ever gets to hold a shadow,
To hold air between his palms.
I was once a man confused and irritated by the subject of God,
Science and Evolution.
I began his journey to Atheism.
I have always felt Atheists are humans
With many unanswered questions
Well, I have a whole lot of questions.
There is a little part of me that believes in a God
But I still long to know reasons behind
War, famine, natural disasters and all.
Why do they occur if there is a God humans call loving?
Disasters are rewards of human sins, some will say.
But I long to know why the sinless and holy die painful deaths too
And they call it His will.
Why religious nations live wretched.
Why religion stands a good ground for war and murder.
There are lots we will never understand, we are mere humans they say.
But from where did I get this mind?
A mind so inquisitive; a heart that wants to know.
Then I got engrossed in Science,
Seeing it as a channel to knowledge;
A channel that gives concrete explanations of man and his habitat.
How man is made from growth stages of a monkey.
How chemicals react to give light, fire and all.
How light and sound travels.
Why natural disasters happen.
How after death man turns into organic matter taken up by plants
Which enters the food chain and becomes part of cells in man.
Again and again, the cycle continues and we live till eternity.
Concrete. Unlike our long held
belief in a Being and Kingdom and a burning fire.
Despite these findings in me remain a void
Which I try so hard to ignore.
A little part of me,
A little voice in my head, so faint
But steady reminder of my void.
A void only what I know not can fill.
Damilola Omotoyinbo is a creative writer who believes in the power of pen and the positive difference it can make in our world. She writes from Ibadan, Nigerian. She studied Biochemistry. Her work has been published at Kalahari Review, Pelleura, Tell and Parousia Magazine. You can read more of her writing @ https://damilolaomotoyinbo.wordpress.com/ or Facebook name: Damilola Omotoyinbo.