written by Femi Morgan

1 – So I won’t be Dud
To Kafka and ShadowCastle*

i am a long term investment
i am checked upon until the cheque comes upon
i am persecuted for my sins

my sins of meltdown
my sins of delayed gratification
i bear the pains of Kafka
i stir and stare and scribble
As they keep tabs, so that I won’t be dud.

II

i am that credit card in your pocket
Slipping through ATMs for only balances
i am the surprise card of retirement

But the wait is too long
The weight is too profound
the cross to Gibraltar

i ,bought at the struggling offers of cheap shares,
i am in a war between self and shareholder(s)
i,a ruffled, rumpled decaying signature
i,the pensioners pension

But they stand on my neck
watching, and whiling
so that I won’t be dud.

 

2 – Cunning

I have squatted in those cubicles
Hiding from the gnawing shadows
And the chewing gnome
The sun has taken a break like a nurse
And where to lay my head is the spell cast as a curse

Oh what cunning!
To stir a stranger for space
And bear the grain of dust
The drowning tale of snores
And perhaps the baptism of spittle.

Under the bridge where you drive your Porsche
Is my corner of circumcision
MY SANCTUARY, MY RESTROOM.
Seventeen year old girls with biological balloons
kept there by reckless truck drivers.

Songs are rare not
It is a cheap way to buy peace
to wage war without weapons
It is the best way
to be a coward.

We grin at the mercy of humanity’s whips
We set a corner, get a small piece of cloth somewhere
To lay like refugees from war torn fabrics
But in our country do we share this toga, this rubric
This outspoken edge of war torn silence

With a philosopher’s sore note at one corner of the APART-me(a)nt.
The apartment called smile.
Blows of Highbrow Blows

 

3 – Aged

I am no longer young,
I cannot love, the way I used to
My heart has been fired with powder,
My veins induced with the vinegar of silence.
I am no longer young,
I cannot love the way I used to

Why should I venture in a failing trail?
Why should I risk my life for a playful sway?
My eyebrow thickened by blows of the highbrow
Puncturing my soul.
My movement arrested by questions
That kills the answers of joy.

I cannot count how many times,
I cannot, how many climbs,
That imprints this
bitter wine of
thoughts

I am no longer young,
I cannot smile, or laugh,
Don’t you know?
I am a canvass
in half

My eyes hollow, dimmed by dins of hope,
Lost, of love repeatedly flawed by media, Media of Greenwich meridian
Of tropical rain forests frustrated by drought
Seeking the roots of rivers.
Of seasons changed to seething.

I am no longer young,
I cannot predict the good end of beginnings,
But,
I can laugh at the expense of tears,
I can pretend in tending my wounds,
I can’t betray emotions by concealing

II

Sometimes, I see the yearning sparkle
If I ever said I love you-I saw the star the made me once marvel
to act on this,
Is to embrace a repetition.

The rivers that flow in my veins,
Do not bud the petals of love,
Do not tease the nostrils of the beautiful Butterfly with perfumed lavender.

The rivers that flow in my veins,
Frowns with turbulent action
Shakes, the roots of nearby laughter,
Yokes the yolk of sleepy silence,
Paints the conincontinence

Paints
Kills, stabs, murders, massacres, floods
Buries the bronze plaited head
Leaves a dark patch
I am no longer young
I can no longer see the sun.

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